To the [Single] Girls + a Real Conversation I've had With My Husband

Last weekend my hubby and I had a wonderful night out with some fellow college students. It was the spring banquet, which was themed '1930's Kentucky Derby' and held at a barn, on a beautiful plot of land with a lake and trails. It was cold and rainy, but still everyone got really dressed up, there were lots of big hats, and we had a great time.

 1930's fancy for a night

Playing lawn games

On our way home, we decided to stop at the grocery store across the street to grab a tasty beverage to sip on while we stayed up a little later. We got many curious glances and stares as we walked about in our banquet attire. One lady said to us, "you two look so nice!" As we walked away, my dear husband said, in a loud voice, "Bre, you're right. It is fun to get dressed up to go to the grocery store!"

I laughed and laughed and told him he's so funny. When we entered a new aisle he said quietly to me, "I said that loud hoping people would hear me." and smiled. What a funny guy I have.

I wish everyone who marries could have what we have. The kind of love and commitment, sometimes naive, yet often mature beyond our years. I notice the younger people I know chasing after things that just don't matter in relationships. Chasing after relationships that only leave them hurt or confused. I especially notice this in the younger girls, but women my age and older do this, too.

I want to tell those young women that they deserve better. I want them to believe, and really know that there is a better way. There is a way that cannot fail, and single or in a relationship, it will all be alright, because those women would know the hope they live for.

Looking through my thought journal the other day, I found the writing below. This is what I want to tell these girls and women who strive to give their hearts away, but always to the wrong people:

To the Girls

"You are a prize. Have you ever seen a prize passed around before given to the winner? To you, men should have to work hard, put effort into you, not only rise above the competition but rise above expectation. And you shouldn't be easy to win. You should be a mystery, exciting and intriguing; experienced by few, not many. Be careful and prayerful, for you are not your own -- you are God's child. Wait for someone who is not only worthy of you, but who has worth in your Father."

The key, ladies, is to know that there is a plan set up for you, and that it is perfect. It may not always feel perfect, but everything works together so intricately that we cannot always see the perfection in the chaos of the way our world works. Be patient. 

To you who are believers in Christ, know that this perfect plan is from Him. He thinks of you, and it breaks His heart to see you broken. Turn to Him, turn all over to Him, and watch as He writes your love story. Allow it to work into perfection beyond your wildest dreams.

We all have our plans. But when we hold onto our plans so tightly that we won't let them go, we often miss out on God's perfect and beautiful plan. Don't delay His plan, it's better than yours anyway. Be the cherished prize you're meant to be, without a blemish, and work harder at that than you do chasing after meaningless relationships. You are a prize. Be won, not given away.

Discernment

It's been hard to know what is worthwhile these days; which thoughts to express, what goals to pursue and which goals to set aside.
Words.

What words really make a difference? Which to express, or keep to ourselves?

I often-times decide it's not worth saying anything. Other times, I just can't handle it any longer, and they come out like a flood. I want to change the way people think, without altering the way they think about me (unless that changes for the better). Selfish.

Sometimes discernment is easy. God is important, always God. But are my words about God important to the unbeliever if it does not change that person's thinking? Is it ever okay to say nothing? Too often, maybe, I let it go.

Too often, maybe, I don't say something when I should have.

Then again, too often I may say too much, when I should have stopped myself.

Words of encouragement.

Is expressed encouragement always necessary? The obvious answer seems to be yes, but what about someone who is constantly discouraged no matter what? What about a child who just does not want to participate, no matter what the consequence? Say a little and back off? Perhaps the answer is to keep encouraging even if they don't believe it. I find myself backing off after awhile. Allowing certain people to figure out on their own what they're capable of. Because, that's important too, right?

Advice. More words. So many words.

To know what advice is truly valuable and what advice is unnecessary would be a helpful life tool. Too bad there is not an owner's manual to the human conscience. Always, I wonder if I should say something, and what that should be. When I say nothing, I later regret it. When I say something I hope would be helpful, I often wonder if it was useful information.

Thoughts. Words. Questions. Discouragement.

Learning discernment. Wisdom.

So many words. Maybe, maybe I should just stop with the words, the thoughts.

Be still.

Trust.