Greif: @ The Redeeming Things

Well, it seems I am a liar. Or, at least, I was wrong last April when I said I would be back in a month.

This summer was hard. I had no interest in writing, none at all, it was too painful to think deeply. But then school started, and as a writing major, I had to write again. So I wrote. I wrote pages and pages, and none of it was for an assignment. I had to drain out all the summer's stagnant waters to get to what was clean and pure. To heal.

Out of that came a blog post for my internship. I came back to the blogging world today on The Redeeming Things, a blog for the Twin Cities written by a collaboration of Christian writers from my church. You can find the blog post here.

It begins:

"C.S. Lewis concluded that, if God is good, suffering in this life must have a purpose. I fall under the category of one who believes God is good. Experiences sometimes challenge that mentality, but recently I have been learning the truth and comfort in C.S. Lewis’ words. This semester I had to read A Grief Observed for a class, and it enlightened me even more in my personal confrontation with grief.

You see, this summer I had a miscarriage.

The whole summer went by. And I didn’t realize how depressed I had become..." [read more]

Secret-Keeper

When I was senior in high school I once planned and hosted a surprise party for a friend. Actually, the friend was my ex-boyfriend, but we were good friends for awhile after our break-up. I remember how hard it was to get the chance to talk to his friends without him around or making him suspicious. It was so hard to plan the party without letting it slip that we were doing something so special for him. But the reward was that he really was surprised, and felt so good to have all his friends work so hard just for him.

Have you ever had really good news that you're not allowed to talk about... at least not yet? If you've ever been invited to a surprise party, you know how hard it is not to talk about something that's exciting. For me, well, I have two exciting secrets that are not yet to be revealed.

How does one go about not gushing about exciting news? For me, I think I may sort of over-compensate by being perhaps overly friendly to the bearer of the good news. When I find myself having a hard time not telling anyone I just contact the person whose secret it is to be told and talk to them about it. The problem with this is that when the conversation is over I then find myself bouncing with anticipation to tell others.

What I've realized, though, is that secret-keeping pays off when done for the right reasons. In my present situation, it's not actually my news to tell, and as excited as I am to talk about the news and make plans, I've committed to being faithful in keeping the secrets of others.

Get ready, because in the next few weeks (or in about a month), there will be an explosion of fantastic news on this blog. I am so excited to share with you the wonderful things happening in the lives of my family and friends.

I'm curious to know: how do you keep a secret, well, secret?

Why the Bride Wears White

One year and a half ago, at the age of twenty, I walked down the aisle in the most beautiful dress to ever adorn my body, ready to commit myself to one man for the rest of my life. I wore white.

It wasn't about the white dress, the flowers, the music, the food. It wasn't about family or friends. It was hardly even about the two of us, though our wedding was the occasion for celebration. To my husband and I, it was all about God, forgiveness, and what was done for us, not by us.

The dress was a special blessing, though, as it had itself just months before seen its fiftieth year; and for me it was free. The dress was Garth's grandmother's. After looking at her wedding album on her's and her husband's fiftieth wedding anniversary, she heard that I had swooned over the dress and suggested that it could be made to look modern with a few tweaks. A month later, when her grandson proposed to me, she stopped by unexpectedly and dropped it off. A beautiful lace dress the likes of which I had never even dreamed of, preserved perfectly after fifty years, was put on my body lovingly by my now sister-in-law. It fit perfectly.

After quite a few moderations in under six months' time, it was quite uniquely beautiful, certainly one-of-a-kind, and I felt terribly undeserving of it.

During our engagement, my husband and I were both attending the same college. In my British literature class we discussed Queen Victoria I for a few days. I learned at this time the real reason the bride wears white, or how it started as a trend, anyway, which had less to do with chastity than sheer virtue. Women back in Queen Victoria I's time would wear elaborately beautiful dresses filled with color to show their social/economic status. Queen Victoria, as a bride, wore white to show she was frugal, as England was in the midst of economic crisis. Talk about irony! Today, that famed white dress is the most expensive dress most women will ever wear. This knowledge really changed my perspective.

So why then is this dress perceived today as a vision of purity? Well, it is not completely off-base, though maybe twisted a bit by our society. Actually, it may just be a tradition that the bride be perceived as pure, emphasized in weddings today by the unblemished white of a wedding dress.

We've all heard the jokes when certain "undeserving" women wear white on their wedding day. We may laugh, but there is a different way we could look at it. A way that shows us far deeper and broader the implications of marriage, and a demonstration of God's love and forgiveness.

This revelation came over me one day when I was reading Ephesians 5. Starting at verse 25, Paul is admonishing men to love their wives "as Christ loved the church" so that, "he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." Ephesians 5:26-27 (ESV, emphasis added).

Now, I had read this passage plenty of times before, but on that particular day, I teared up. It dawned on me that the purity of the bride is not dependent on the color of the wedding dress, but the concept of the convent act of marriage that is significant. At the moment of the covenant it does not matter what has happened in the woman's past, who she was before, or what sins she has committed. What matters is the act of committing herself to one man for the rest of her life, and his intent toward her. That sanctifies her. She becomes a radiant example of what we are to Christ, and in that moment, she is pure.

Men, I would admonish you to treat your wives (present, future, or unknown) in a way that makes her a respectable person, so that no one can say a bad word about her. This is how Christ demonstrates His love for the church, and our human act of marriage is a significant demonstration of that covenant; that love. A woman forgiven of her past wrongs by a man who chooses to love her unconditionally is a woman worthy of being presented in splendor; holy and without blemish.

The End/To a New Beginning

Well, friends, the school year is winding down and I'll be moving on from the best job I've had so far. I never thought my stint as a photographer's assistant could be topped, but better hours with better pay, cute little kiddies that put a smile on my face every day, and encouraging staff that get along so well have made this job a treat.

Some things, I'm sure, will not be missed. Wandering the halls looking for the right classroom, for example. Then there's walking into a new classroom and not knowing which student is the one I'm supposed to be working with (usually worked out in a minute or two). I definitely won't miss chasing slightly unstable or off-balance, or even just simply attention-seeking students down the hall, or losing them all together... I certainly did get my exercise, though. Soon, gone will be the days of an early-morning call telling me where I will be working for the day (which I have had a break from for the last six weeks of school, thankfully).

Soon, gone will be the days of a steady lunch time, random hugs in the hallway, and excited faces wanting to show me things they have worked so hard on. No more going out to the playground every day after lunch, then again sometimes in the afternoon. Goodbye, plays and concerts put on mid-school day.

Yes, the good far outweigh the bad in this job. Teachers and administration work in schools for so long because they love what they do, not because they feel for any reason that they have to. I know that each of them, no matter how many things they can find to complain about on any given day, really love working with kids; molding the future.

So now, on to the next adventure.